Movies

Enter the Amazing Fantasy World of Uwe Boll

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So I’m dicking around Rotten Tomatoes to watch the savaging of Uwe Boll’s new flick In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, when I read this gem from the film’s Official Summary:

In the breathtaking fantasy adventure, In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, director Uwe Boll conjures up a medieval world filled with royal treachery, dark magic and spectacular battles, all set against some of the most awe-inspiring vistas ever captured on film

Pausing only briefly to marvel at the number of lies in that single sentence, I very much wanted to see some of the most awe-inspiring vistas ever captured on film, so I went to the IfNotK:ADST (as the fans like to call it) to check out the stills. Come join me on a magical journey, won’t you?
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L to R: An actor who should know better, a man who dipped his head in glue then fell in yarn, a confused and/or constipated Jason Statham, an actress who doesn’t know better, and Brian White

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Kristanna Loken, preparing to mark her territory

More after the jump…

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Statham, trying desperately to figure out how this scene fits into ‘The Transporter 3’

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Burt Reynolds embarrassing himself beyond words, no easy task

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The tail end of Claire Forlani’s career

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One of the most awe-inspiring vistas ever captured on film

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.