Movies

Non-Existent Movie News Trifecta: Hobbit, Raimi, Miyazaki

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ponyo.jpg1) Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth director Guillermo del Toro is in talks to direct The Hobbit movie, or movies, if they decide on doing two. It’s not confirmed. They’re just talking about it. Peter Jackson, apparently, if far too busy swimming in his giant vault of New Zealand-money, Scrooge MacDuck-style.

2) Sam Raimi is developing a live-action TV series based on Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth fantasy novels. Nothing’s been decided yet, although he’s partnering with ABC in developing it. It could all fall apart. Like all overly long fantasy novel series, the Sword of Truth has fans, although they should realize this will almost certainly be more like Xena than Battlestar Galactica.

3) “God of anime” Hayao Miyazaki’s next film, Ponyo on a Cliff, will be released in Japan in July. This is not news because he previously knew it was being released in summer, and summer includes July. Also, watch where you step, Ponyo! You’re on a cliff, dammit!

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.