Cartoons, Movies

Filthy Foreigner Wins Role of Cover Girl in G.I. Joe Movie


Durnit! Durnit it all to hell! This upcoming G.I. Joe movie is becoming less American by the minute! IESB says that the role of the previously U.S.-born soldier Cover Girl will be played by model/non-American Karol?na Isela Kurkov?, who is a Czech! Argh! And this Kurkova broad doesn’t even look like Cover Girl, neither! See, here’s Cover Girl:
And here’s Kurkova:

You’ve disappointed me and George Washington yet again, G.I. Joe movie.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.