You might be surprised to learn that there are simply millions of Indiana Jones toys coming out this summer from Hasbro; some from the new movie, some from the old movies. Most of them have left me emotionally untouched. And then there’s this:
Yes, that’s an adorable version of Temple of Doom baddie Mola Ram. Please note the adorable heart in his hand, clearly pulled from an adorable but unwilling human sacrifice shortly before this picture was taken. I can hardly stand how awesome this is.
Same goes for this Adventure Heroes pack, Adventure Heroes being the pre-school safe figures of hit Hasbro properties.
That’s a fucking Ark of the Covenant, complete with a fucking Vengeful Old Testament Ghost, ready to melt the face off of Nazis. FOR PRESCHOOLERS.
On a far less shocking note is this Cate Blanchett figure, in all her ’50s, Communist, sexually repressed glory:
And last but not least, Clone Wars Indiana Jones: