Please, Please Don’t Make Pirates of the Caribbean 4

Confession time: I hate Jerry Bruckheimer with a passion. I thought his flicks, such as Armageddon and The Rock most especially, were among the most obnoxious, insultingly stupid films ever made, that learning-disabled people who had never seen a movie before would still find them trite and clich?d. But god help me if I didn’t genuinely enjoy Pirates of the Caribbean, despite myself.

Thus I was pleasantly surprised to discover that PotC 2 and 3 both sucked, although mostly because of a convoluted, goofy and clearly taped-together-at-the-last-minute plot, rather than being soul-crushingly stupid. Additionally, I have no desire for them to make another, although that’s exactly what seems to be happening. IGN reports that the fourth flick would be a buddy film with Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow and Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa as they race to find the fountain of youth, and Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom’s characters tossed overboard, so to speak. Given how horrible the sequels were, I have no doubt that this will end up as Bad Boys 2 on a ship. But with that parrot instead of Martin Lawrence.