Zombie Attacks Conan the Barbarian

I apologize that the headline above is far cooler than the actual news, but that’s the way is goes in faux journalism, sometimes. is 100% certain that horror-shlock-meister Rob Zombie is talking to Lion’s Gate about directing the next Conan the Barbarian film. While I’m going to daydream that this means Conan will be beheading any one of the wretched “characters” from House of 1,000 Corpses?most especially Captain Spaulding?I’m certain Zombie won’t do anything that satisfying. Much more likely he’ll do awful like adding Spaulding to a Conan movie, but nothing so decent as having him brutally murdered by a raging Cimmerian.