Fan Fiction Friday: Billy & Mandy in “Just a Bad Dream”
These Fan Fiction Fridays are going to be the death of me. I can kind of understand making erotic fan fiction for Kim Possible, since Kim is a teen and dresses like a whore, what with her little belly shirt and all. Kind of. But The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? Seriously?
Who wants to imagine these two drawings engaging in intercourse? The answer is Kaziklu, the author of this week’s tale of the sexual self-awakening of two squat, dumpy 8-year-olds. I honestly wanted to die at several points while reading this brutally explicit short story, so I’m only going to reprint snippits that aren’t outright depraved (there aren’t many).
? ??I know.?? [Billy] laughed and Mandy looked at him with sadness. He was wearing his green pyamas and nothing else, but he didn?t seem to mind the cold.
? ??Oh that! It happends [sic]when I think about girls. Wanna see??? He asked nonchalantly and without waiting for her to answer, pulled his pyamas down.
? She never even thought that Billy had any knowledge about sex or even the most basic interest. He shook his head and gave her a look that said more than words.
? ??That?s where I pee from.??
? ??Let?s not finish this too soon, ok? Let me do something for you first.?? She said and pushed him on his back.
? Without much ceremony, she did the ultimate act of subjection. ??M-Mandy?!?? Billy called in surprise as Mandy actually did what he wanted to do to her.
? ??Could you wear them??? He asked, holding her shoes. She put them on without even asking why.
? ?It all makes sense now… the dream I had was a stupid dream. I was afraid of myself this whole time. The maze, the animals and the unknown force… it was all me, nothing more. And I?ll ask Grim why this happened between Billy and me. I have a feeling nothing hasn?t changed. I?ll probably kick him out naked tomorrow… and beat him… and be mean to him… it is who I am. I?m the one with all the power… knowledge and influence… but this was nice too…? Her thoughts trailed off and soon she was sleeping peacefully.
You’re welcome to read the story in its entirety here, if you hate yourself that much. I’m off to have a hot shower and a good cry.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.