Fan Fiction Friday: Raphael in “Always So Angry”

1045543606_esraphael2.jpgEver wonder why only Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was so pissed off? So did author Loser tastic toaster, but he has a theory.

I always figured Raph was angry because he didn’t get enough time to masturbate. This [story]is about him trying to get 10 minutes alone to jack off.

I promise Loser tastic toaster does not lie; this one-chapter story is all about Raphael’s inability to jerk off thanks to his brothers.

His life was so crazy. His shower was one of the few times he got some peace. With the foot and every day criminals he didn’t have a lot of time to relax. It was also the only totally private place he had to explore his sexuality.

The subject or sex and masturbation had never really came up. When the turtles had gotten old enough to start asking questions Splinter had just told them babies were made from sex and that the man had to put himself into a woman to have sex. The conversation had pretty much died after that and it hadn’t come up again.

Raph had discovered masturbation on his own and he guessed his brothers had to. The four of them never really talked about stuff like that.

Happily, the other Turtles don’t join in or anything, and poor April stays far, far away. This story has but one focus; that’s not to say Raphael can’t explore his kinkier side solo.

He didn’t know much about anal penetration but he felt like trying it out.

While I might have nightmares about anthropomorphic turtles sticking their fingers up their asses tonight, it might have been worth it for this little exchange:

?You ok?? came Donny’s voice.

?I’m fine!? Raph snapped.

?Are you sure?? Don asked. ?You sound tense.?

?Of course I’m tense,? the masturbating turtle said. ?I can’t get five minutes alone.?

So, does Raphael finally get to jerk off? I can’t imagine spoiling it for you, so you’ll have to read it yourself. Cowabunga!