Michael Bay Is a Genius, Part II
This just in! Rainn Wilson will star as Shia the Beef’s astronomy teacher in Transformers 2, who’s named?and I’m not making this up?Professor Colon. Isn’t that funny? Isn’t that fucking hilarious?! Because colons are used to poop, and no one likes nerdy science teachers! Ha! Ha ha! Oh Michael Bay, no wonder people regard you as a competent filmmaker! Why, who could even think of such a magnificent joke, other than possibly a misbehaving kindergartner? There’s more of a spoiler bout the classroom scene over at The Movie Blog, but I’m too busy clutching my sides in hysterical laughter to go check it out! If my laughter sounds a lot like sobbing, pay it no mind!
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.