All Aboard the Star Trek Express, the Nerdiest Train in the Whole Goddamn Universe

Jesus. If you’re part of the Venn diagram that loves both Star Trek and toy trains sets, you must be releasing some kind of bodily fluid in your pants at the above picture. You must also be one of the nerdiest fucking people on the planet, because I think most Trek fans with even a smidgen of self-respect would pass on an exceptionally boring and ugly toy train bearing the pictures of the crew of the Enterprise, along with a special car just for the gigantic face of James T. Kirk, galactic poonhound.

The voyage begins with Issue One featuring an impressive diesel locomotive. Soon, you’ll receive Issue Two, the coordinating Star Trek engine, which includes a FREE HO gauge track. The HO scale train set collection continues with Issue Three, a passenger train car, which includes your FREE power pack. Additional coordinating Star Trek collectible train cars, each a separate issue, will follow.

Every inch of this Star Trek electric train set is precision scaled with authentic details – from the solid metal chassis and steel alloy wheels to the passenger train cars that actually light up. This is your chance to report to the transporter room and beam yourself aboard, but don’t delay!

Each “issue” (i.e., car) costs $70, but it does light up, remember. Be careful when clicking here to order, as I’m sure their server won’t be able to handle the overload of frothing uber-nerds, scrambling to buy a ticket on the Star Trek Express. Oh, the flesh crawls.