Castlevania Fighting Game Is the Real Evil

None of us were excited about the prospect of a 3-D Castlevania fighting game when it was announced a couple of weeks a ago, but my friends, the truth is far worse than we had even dreamed of. This game looks terrible, and I swear I’m not just whining because we all just want a 2-D Castlevania. Testify:

? It’s a full-roaming 3-D game like Power Stone, except without even slightly interesting stages. This means the fighters mostly swing wildly at the air instead of at each other.
? It looks like a PlayStation 2 launch game. Seriously.
? The only slightly interesting thing is that monsters attack during the fights, but since there’s no more than two zombies on screen and they move with the speed of an undead glacier, they don’t affect anything.
? I love anime and the all the silly outfits from Final Fantasy and even I think Simon Belmont looks fucking ridiculous.

If Konami had simply set fire to a large pile of money instead of making this, I honestly would have respected them more. Jesus.