Movie Spoiler Trifecta: Star Trek, Transformers 2, Conan the Barbarian

? Entertainment Weekly put up their Star Trek cover story online, with three new pictures, although they’re just of Bones, Sulu, and another one of the evil Romulan played by Eric Bana. However, I recommend you head over to /Film, which does a great job of taking listing all of the pertinent info from the article. TR‘s short version: time travel is involved, Spock has some action scenes, and the Enterprise has handrails so people aren’t flopping all over the place now.

? Okay, do not read this if you want to be surprised by or have any remaining hope for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.‘s spy says, among other things, that Optimus Prime will combine with Jetfire, which sounds an appropriately Michael Bay-ian level of disdain for the source material. Apparently Soundwave will be a satellite, which is weird, and Jetfire can now create wormholes, because who the fuck gives a shit at this point.

? Brett Ratner is 90% official to direct the new Conan the Barbarian movie, and if that doesn’t spoil any and every hopes you had for it, I don’t know what will. Bleh.