You guys destroyed me with this contest. I can’t even give you the highlights, because about 90% of the entries made me laugh, and the amount of stupidity described was staggering. Please, please–if you haven’t yet, read through all the comments, because it’s infinitely entertaining.
Now, although there was some great writing, I did pick what seemed to be the stupidest possible plan overall. That said, Kabir, McTool, LBD NyteTrayn, Elrond, ThatCostumeGirl, Evil Monkey Pope, Arsenal and others all tied more or less for second place. But there has to be a winner, and that winner is Th3 Prof3550r:
Transformers – Auto-Bop Episode. The plot? Starscream and Soundwave create a nightclub called
“Dancitron” to hypnotize humans into slaves so they can build some
building which the audience never really knows why it was being built
for in the first place. Like I said, brilliant! To further entice us somehow this club is so
badass that Housewives and Construction workers frequent it. This
episode makes absolutely no sense and the plot is convoluted and
ridiculous, but any episode where you have some major Robo-eroticism in
it makes it a winner.
Why the Decepticons would decide to hypnotize humans by building a dance club instead of say, the radio, TV, a rock band (Cold Slither?) is beyond me. Why they would hypnotize humans and do nothing with those humans except let them dance is equally baffling. And the fact the club is called DANCITRON is beyond awesome. For me, this is simply the stupidest possible plan on all levels, helped by the fact–if you watch the video–Starscream has told his gang of punks to make sure no one breakdances in front of club, but forgot to tell them to look out for Autobots.
This of course says nothing about the rest of the episode, which features a preposterous trio of punks, Blaster making on a human chick, Tracks turning out to hate when social classes mingle, one of the punks named Raoul getting oddly familiar with Tracks, and more–so much more. I got so much dumber by watching it. Well done, Decepticons–and Pr0f3550r.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.