The Wolverine Movie You Pirated Is the Wolverine Movie You Get
If you’re one of the billion or so people who saw that illegal copy of the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, you may be shocked to learn that Fox lied to you — because despite the studio’s claims that the work print was not the final cut and was missing 10 minutes of additional footage, it seems that in reality the bootleg was the finished cut (still minus effects).
Yeah, I know! A studio lied to people who illegally downloaded their movie to get them to pay for a ticket! I’m shocked and appalled, I am. Why, if I didn’t know for certain that Fox was handling the Marvel characters with the utmost care for authenticity and that the fans who watched the pirated version are all going to buy tickets, whether they enjoyed the movie or not, just on principle, I just don’t know how I would continue to function. Possibly by eating the official X-Men Origins: Wolverine pizza from Papa John’s!
 |
It’s an extra-large pizza with no toppings and a pound of cheese on it. Please feel free to draw your own conclusions in the comments.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.