Merchandise, Movies, Toys

A Brief Conversation About the Snake Eyes Bobblehead


Zach Oat is an editor over at Television Without Pity, the former editor of ToyFare magazine, a G.I. Joe fiend and a good, good friend. This is a conversation we had about a couple of hours ago on IM:

Zach: Have you seen this?
        Just when you thought Snake Eyes was the best-looking thing in the movie.
me: OH MY GOD.
       That’s just tragic.
Zach: “Can we accentuate his huge lips somehow? And his trousers?”
me: Really, why the trousers?
       Why not… ninja pants?
Zach: I guess tights are too gay? For middle america?
       I don’t know how slacks are an improvement.
me: Me either. Those Dockers do not make me think of heterosexuality.
Zach: The lips bother me more than the pants.
me: Naturally.
       Well, that’s because only two types of masks have lips like that.
       Old-school Halloween masks from the ’80s and gimp masks.
       Actually, not even all gimp masks have lips.
       Just the extra creepy ones.
Zach: If it was a zipper mouth, I’d actually love it.
me: Sadly, a zipper would make the mask less creepy, wouldn’t it?
Zach: Yes.
       Because then I’d know if he could open his mouth or not. I’m worried he’s going to.
me: If he does, you know they got Sam Jackson to do his voice.
Zach: “These are some goddamn comfortable pants!”

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.