Devastator’s Got Nards
Fuck. Fuck. From Empire‘s review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:
A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act of Transformers 2.
A robot-on-robot fracas is unfolding around Egypt’s Giza Necropolis,
with Devastator, an especially massive mechanoid comprised of several
construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to the peak of a pyramid.
As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot tilts up to its
mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling down. Yes, Michael Bay, the man who brought us cyber-micturition in this movie’s predecessor, has one-upped himself: Decepticon testicles.
So now Bay’s not turning the universally reviled Wheelie into a horrible, mincing robo-Pesci, he’s putting balls on goddamn Devastator. On a robot from space. Made up of other robots, which means one of the individual Constructicons has to form the testicles. So. Who wants to defend Michael Bay’s “vision” now?
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.