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R2D2’s New Woman Is a Filthy Slut

R2D2’s New Woman Is a Filthy Slut

By June 11, 2009 Movies, TV 0 Comment

“Wait a second, Artoo. That’s your new girlfriend? Well, let me tell you a little something about her. She constantly lets groups of ?big, sweaty firemen ‘attach their hoses’ to her so they can ‘make her spray.’ I’m not talking about one fireman, Artoo — I’m talking about 3 or 4… at the same time. Then they take her sweet juices and put out their fires, if you know what I mean. Heck, sometimes, they ‘open her up’ for the neighborhood kids to play with. It’s disgusting! I’m fluent in over six million forms of communication, and even I think the best word to describe her is ‘ho-bag.'” (Via /Film)

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About The Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.