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Behold the 50-Foot-Tall Michael Jackson Robot We Almost Had


michael jackson robot.jpg?
Well, not really. In fact, there was never any chance of anyone ever ponying up the money to make a 50-foot-tall Michael Jackson robot to stand in front of a Michael Jackson-themed hotel and casino in Las Vegas at any point in the last decade, and that’s even if he hadn’t been accused of sexual relations with a kindergarten full of children. In fact, I’d say even a Michael Jackson-themed hotel/casino on its own would have had pretty low chances of getting made.

That said, Jackson had talked to people about both the hotel and the giant robot, and even had artist Timothy Patterson “design” what the pair would look like, and MTV managed to snag the picture, which is above. It is pretty fucking amazing, but I don’t know that there could ever be a painting of a 50-foot-tall Michael Jackson robot which I wouldn’t describe as amazing, so you might want to keep that in mind.

I know Jackson is dead — although it’s not a story that got a lot of media attention — but I say we make this fucker. Not just because we seriously need some protection from Japan’s ever growing army of giant robots and robot beetles. Because it would be awesome. And then we should build a 50-foot root of Abraham Lincoln, and we should teach them tag-team wrestling.