7 Minutes of Final Fantasy XIII Awesomeness, Dullness, and High-Pitched Japanese Voices
Seeing as FFXIII is finally, finally going to be released in Japan at the end of this year, Square Enix released a new, lengthy trailer at this weekend’s Tokyo Game Show. Obviously, I’m delirious with joy, especially over the sharp-looking combat, and the Summons turning into shit like motorcycles and racecars and stuff, but even I have to admit after the mid-point, it’s just a bunch of people talking in Japanese. That wouldn’t be that bad if it weren’t for that one extra huge-eyed little girl who sounds like Rocky the Squirrel on helium, and I could even deal with her — I’ve been dealing with her and her brethren in my Japanese entertainment for years — if she didn’t appear to be in every friggin’ scene in the damn game.
Oh well. In all honesty, I had a stomach ache this morning, then I watched this FFXIII trailer and it went away. Suffice to say, I’m still pretty excited for the game.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.