Dungeons & Dragons: The Sodas!


DnD sodas.jpg

Fuck me with Treasure Type H
. Jones Soda is making official D&D sodas, and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a beverage more in my life. If you can’t tell the flavors from the pic, they include:

? Potion of Healing
? Sneak Attack
? Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer
? Dwarven Draught
? Eldritch Blast
? Illithid Brain Juice

…And they come with a crappy Drow Assassin figurine while supplies last! Guys, I am calling up Jones right now to see if I can get a case to review, and if I can’t, I’ll just break down and buy one. I’m happy to tell you guys what they’re like, but man, I’m addicted to trying any new flavor of soda, and these have rocked my Forgotten World. I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THESE ARE LIKE. If you’re interested in ordering some yourself, head here — and everyone thank Kevin mightily for the tip!

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.