I haven’t covered Sega’s Bayonetta game much on TR, because — despite my intense attraction to the main character, not because of her truly ludicrous hair cone, but because of her glasses (oh, the glasses!) — I just assumed it was going to be a crappy Devil May Cry clone with breasts. I mean, it’s made by Sega, and besides, I could not suck more at Devil May Cry, for some reason. Not an unreasonable assumption, right? Well, something weird happened. Japan’s premiere gaming mag gave Bayonetta a perfect score — something less than a dozen games have received in that mag’s lengthy history, which includes stuff like Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and the Dreamcast Soul Calibur. This blows my mind; Famitsu is one of the few gaming reviews that actually matter. And it made me wonder — could Bayonetta actually be awesome?
Well, after watching a dozen videos for the game of the past few days, I think it might be. I mean, watch that opening video above and notice she’s fighting on a falling clock tower. That’s absurd. A better video of her fighting is below:
That’s just absurd. Sure, it’s still Devil May Cry with breasts, but 1) it looks like it takes place in larger, open arenas than DMC‘s cramped, camera-hating rooms, which I very much approve of, and 2) it makes DMC look like fucking Nintendogs. Everything’s been ramped up to 11, whether Bayonetta’s kicking, shooting, doing witch stuff, or whatever. Plus, she’s collecting halos from her enemies, which ends up looking like she’s a sacrilegious Sonic. I may regret this, but I think I’m going to have to get it when the game comes out next year. I was almost willing to buy it for Bayonetta’s glasses alone. If the game’s genuinely that good, I am powerless to resist.