TR Contest: Videogame Valentines


?I’m still reeling from the nightmare that was today’s 4,000-word-plus FFF,
so forgive me if I keep this brief (and if I mostly copy/paste it from last year’s valentines-themed contest). This weekend’s contest is to think
up Valentine’s Day cards that videogame characters might give to other videogame characters
. Pac-Man to Ms. Pac-Man. Commander Shephard to Tifa Lockhart. Samus Aran to the Saints Row guy. The Gears of Wars guys to each other. Whatever.

I figure there’s two ways these entries can go: Either
hilariously stupid, or incredibly inappropriate. Either is fine. I don’t
know how I’ll judge, but I’ll probably give extra points if you make up
a rhyme. Beware of the dreaded
Rob-invariably-skips-over-any-entries-that-are-too-long rule — these
are cards, and the text should be short.

Three entries per person. Contest ends at 12:01 am EST on
Monday, February 13th, 2012. If you’re lucky enough
to be in a relationship, I hope you have an excellent, romantic time; if
you’re not, fuck those guys, and make sure you get good and drunk. But if you find yourself looking longingly at your bean bag chair, please either seek help or keep drinking until you pass out.