Today’s contest comes 100% from Lucas Gallagher of NerdBastards, which I need to fess up because it’s such a great idea. I’m guessing that perhaps just a few of you have seen the movie Ghostbusters, so you might recall the scene where Gozer the Gozerian politely requests the Ghostbusters to choose the form of the Destructor:
Well, I’m asking you — choose the form of your Destructor. Now, I DON’T want a list of the giant characters you’d want to be snoo-snoo’d to death by. You need to think like Ray, and concentrate on some character of thing you’d never suspect of destroying you… but will anyways. If you’re so enamored of a character that you’re certain that you’d think of it first when trying to keep your mind blank, I’ll allow it — but I’ll disqualify anyone whose entry turns this into a tawdry affair. Would you try to think of something innocent, and get absorbed into a giant SpongeBob? Toucan Sam from Froot Loops? Do you love Batman so much that an army of Batman would glide down from the heavens and kick humanity’s collective asses almost instantly? (It doesn’t have to be a giant, after all.)
That said, I’d still think of Lum from Urusei Yatsura. Sure, she’s an anime character wearing a bikini, but I’m not breaking my own commandment here — I have a tattoo or her, for goodness sake, and I have no doubt that she’d enter my brain immediately after Gozer posed her/his/its question. And since she flies and shoot lightning bolts, the human race would indeed be doomed.
So there you go. One entry per person, contest ends at 12:01am EST on Monday the 26th, and my favorite entry wins. You get bonus points for describing how your Destructor will destruct you, so to speak. Again, it doesn’t have to be a giant version that crushes all beneath its feet, and it can’t be naughty, because I’m still recovering from last week. Now WHAT DID YOU DO, RAY?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.