DVD Day: December 29th, 2009
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?? 9
The trailer looked neat, it’s got a pretty good voice cast, it’s produced by Tim Burton and the Russian dude who did the Night Watch movie and somehow I still feel no burning desire to see this. Any defenders in the comments?
? Paranormal Activity
This was apparently the Blair Witch Project with ghosts instead of people who stand in the corner of houses witches. I don’t like the Blair Witch Project.
? Jennifer’s Body
Megan Fox is a demon kills boys, but also wears a cheerleader uniform. How this failed at the box office is beyond me.
? Princess of Mars
Edgar Rice Burrough’s classic tale gets the cheap-o direct-to-DVD treatment no one asked for. It stars Traci Lords, for goodness sake. It is a sad commentary on myself that this is the week’s DVD release that I’m most excited about seeing.
? Vampire Killers
Stars the doomed eighth Doctor, Paul McGann. He’s either killing vampires, or is a vampire who’s a killer, or something. I wasn’t really paying attention.
? The Marine 2
This movie — a sequel to the WWE starring vehicle for John Cena — isn’t nerdy at all, but it said that it starred Ted DiBiase. Ted DiBiase was the Million Dollar Man and is a born-again Christian and like 60-years-old, so him starring in a low-budget Die Hard rip-off blew my mind. And then I found out that Ted DiBiase has a son also named Ted Dibiase, who’s actually the one starring in the movie, and my mind was blown again. I just wanted to share that with you all.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.