The trailer looked neat, it’s got a pretty good voice cast, it’s produced by Tim Burton and the Russian dude who did the Night Watch movie and somehow I still feel no burning desire to see this. Any defenders in the comments?
? Paranormal Activity
This was apparently the Blair Witch Project with ghosts instead of
people who stand in the corner of houses witches. I don’t like the Blair Witch Project.
? Jennifer’s Body
Megan Fox is a demon kills boys, but also wears a cheerleader uniform. How this failed at the box office is beyond me.
? Princess of Mars
Edgar Rice Burrough’s classic tale gets the cheap-o direct-to-DVD treatment no one asked for. It stars Traci Lords, for goodness sake. It is a sad commentary on myself that this is the week’s DVD release that I’m most excited about seeing.
? Vampire Killers
Stars the doomed eighth Doctor, Paul McGann. He’s either killing vampires, or is a vampire who’s a killer, or something. I wasn’t really paying attention.
? The Marine 2
This movie — a sequel to the WWE starring vehicle for John Cena — isn’t nerdy at all, but it said that it starred Ted DiBiase. Ted DiBiase was the Million Dollar Man and is a born-again Christian and like 60-years-old, so him starring in a low-budget Die Hard rip-off blew my mind. And then I found out that Ted DiBiase has a son also named Ted Dibiase, who’s actually the one starring in the movie, and my mind was blown again. I just wanted to share that with you all.