Casting Call: And the Winners Are…


?It’s clear that like me, a lot of you having been casting your favorite nerd properties in your heads for quite some time. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that 1) I have a ton of Honorable Mentions for movie ensembles, individual casting choices and a few good lines, and 2) we all like Jackie Earle Haley a hell of a lot, apparently. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

? Sean‘s Five Fists of Science, starring Kevin Kline as Mark Twain and Jason Schwartzman as Nikola Tesla
? MattK‘s Meme: The Movie
? Drunken Fist‘s brilliant idea of Vinnie Jones as Trap-Jaw in an MOTU movie
? Patrick‘s GI Joe movie: “Snake Eyes – Ray Parks can keep the job, but he won’t have a fucking molded mouth on his mask”
? DiscoStu‘s Immortal Iron Fist movie
? Wolfeman‘s brilliant idea of Anna Torv as Lisa Hayes in a Robotech movie
? DoctorSmashy‘s amazing and totally original Super Mario Bros. movie idea
? Tanner‘s brilliant idea of Ralph Fiennes as the Red Skull in a Captain America movie
? Kayla‘s Fables movie, which was great except for the horrible Ali Larter as Cinderella
? R3MY‘s far-better-than-it-needed-to-be Penny Arcade movie
? SafetyDance101‘s fantastic Cowboy Bebop movie starring James Franco as Spike
? Drivingsideways‘ brilliants ideas of Ellen Page as Death and Cate Blanchett as Desire in a Sandman movie
? The Great A’tuin for: “CLONE SAGA – THE MOVIE FILM! ALL PARTS PLAYED BY BRIAN BLESSED! Featuring Conan O’Brien as Deadpool! Of course, Jay Leno will replace Conan in the final 30 minutes of the film.”
? Proofrock‘s Bioshock movie, starring Sam Rockwell as Jack Ryan
? Zorrt‘s 1984 Spider-Man movie starring the Brat Pack
? Person Man‘s Centurions movie
? Thegreatpaulio‘s BraveStarr movie starring Ben Bratt as BraveStarr
? Rufus13ky‘s disturbingly reasonable Star Trek: TNG reboot
? Prophet for Profit for: “Prophet for Profit presents the feature length motion picture ‘The Reading of the Phonebook’ starring Christina Hendricks”
? Xvi‘s awesome Final Fantasy VI movie starring Summer Glau as Terra
? The Chu‘s excellent Belgariad movie
? Michael‘s Final Fantasy VIII cast, which would have been perfect if he hadn’t included Channing fucking Tatum

On to the winners.

There were more than a few genuinely brilliant movie cast ideas in Friday’s contest, and picking out two winners was difficult. Still, there are two casts so perfect for their live-action properties that it actually makes me sad that they don’t exist. First up:

mask comic.jpg

?Sappy404 said:

I’ll go for MASK:
Matt Tracker: Aaron Eckhart
Buddy Hawkes: Nathan Fillion
Boris Bushkin: Brian Blessed
Brad Turner: Dominic West
Hondo Maclean: Roger R. Cross
Gloria Baker: Rachel McAdams
Scott: Kodi Smit-McPhee
T-Bob: Voice of Mark Hamill
Miles Mayhem: Brian Dennehy
Sly Rax: Billy Crudup
Cliff Dagger: Woody Harrelson
Vanessa Warfield: Fairuza Baulk
Floyd Malloy: Marc Warren
Nash Gorey – Garret Dillahunt

Seriously, this MASK cast is perfect. Brian Dennehy as Miles Mayhem? That’s just divine. When we get the inevitable MASK movie — and given how much money Transformers and G.I. Joe made, I don’t doubt it’s coming eventually — I hope to hell some casting director does a web search and finds this list. Now, #2:

Thatcher said:

The Venture Bros.
Dr. V – Jackie Earl Haley: he can play anything from stoner (Semi-pro) to Freddy
Kruger, with a Rorschach in between. Plus look at that head shot from the GL/Sinestro post from a few days back. It’s him!!
Brock – Patrick Warburton: seriously, nobody can do that voice but him.
Hank – Alexander Ludwig (the kid from the seeker movie): He’s honestly the only blonde teenish actor I could see fitting in this role
Dean – Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Monarch – Bill Hader (from SNL): Could nail the voice, and semi-creepy vibe.
Dr. Girlfriend – Gina Gershon: just because

Sienkiewicz 2.jpg

?21 – Jonah Hill
24 – Andy Samberg: Jonah is locked in, I’m flexable on 24, though
Col. Hunter Gathers – Bruce Campbell: he makes everything better, plus who better to teach Brock to be a badass than Sensei Bruce!
Dr. Orpheus – Hugh Laurie: In his interviews he seems to have a natural humor so I’d like to see him roll with it.
Alchemist – Joe Lo Truglio: very funny guy from the Apatow movies. (personal fav is Kuzzik from Role Models)
Jefferson Twilight – Sam Jackson: no shit…
Phantom Limb – Dwayne Johnson: He’s got the torso build, plus he can pull off the better than you persona quite well.
Master Billy Quizboy – Cgi head-enlarged Seth Green: again, no shit…
Pete White – slimmed down Jim Gaffigan
Cameos by!:
The Sovereign – David Bowie
Triana – Emma Stone
Kim – Avril Lavigne

Incredible. Every single character is dead on, with the possible exception of Dr Girlfriend — no small feat for such a funny, idiosyncratic show like Venture Bros. As a big VB fan, I wondered if anyone would try a Venture casting call, but I assumed no one would be able to make those characters work on screen — even in an imaginary way. But I think Thatcher nailed it, and actually came up with a cast that Hollywood potentially come up with themselves (if they and we were both very, very lucky). Thanks as always for entering, and please rest assured there are plenty more opportunities to win a TR shirt on the way.