?For a whole decade now, the WWE (formerly WWF) Smackdown video game series has given players an unprecedented outlet for their creativity, allowing them to build their own grapplers piece-by-piece, and have a truly personalized wrestling experience. Fans of the series are known to spend hours — DAYS! — building and fine-tuning armies of Create-A-Wrestlers (CAWs), which consist of the likes of Freddy Krueger, Batman, themselves, original characters and wrestlers the WWE couldn’t be bothered to include in the game.
This year is no different, as gamers have already begun to construct their CAWs and share them online in the two months or so the newest edition of the long-running series has been out. Some of these created grapplers are really, really good. And, inevitably and laughably, some are really, REALLY bad.
So that we at Topless Robot may all point and laugh at the half-assed and half-baked creations some gamers were brave enough to display for the whole world to see, here are the most awful Smackdown vs. RAW 2010 CAWs that we’ve found thus far.
14) Spongebob Squarepants
?Look, I’m not going to go too hard on this CAW-maker, because his superhero CAWs are numerous and pretty fantastic. And I have to give him enormous credit for creating a Spongebob that’s so accurate and detailed that it’s completely unsettling to see him running around in a wrestling arena with realistic human characters. Like the atom bomb, it’s both an amazing feat of human ingenuity and a horrifying creation that will probably destroy us all. This is the Spongebob of our nightmares.
?Despite the limited number of parts in CAW mode, they can be put together in amazing ways to create just about anyone. You can even make a pretty decent Batman, as evidenced in this video here (and I think all we ask out of any wrestling game Create-A-Wrestler feature is to be able to create Batman). So why this CAW-maker decided to create a Batman who looks like he needs a visit to the Exorcist is beyond me.
?This is what would happen if you sent Che Guevara and a copy of Super Mario 64 together through the Telepods seen in the movie The Fly.
11) Sam Witwicky
?I can only assume that some wrestling fan wanted to watch a virtual Beef get suplexed over and over again. Alas, even Smackdown Vs. Raw‘s create-a-wrestler mode has no ability to make it’s wrestlers repeat the word “No” several hundred times a minute.
?Lita wasn’t a beauty, but hey, she was all right. She was a damned fined wrestler, that’s for sure, keeping up with the high-flyin’ Hardy Boyz. I’m also pretty sure she also had eyebrows and didn’t wear eyeliner that would make Robert Smith from The Cure jealous.
9) Hulk Hogan
?This absolutely wins the award for most horrific Hulk Hogan CAW I’ve ever seen. Gazing too long at his melting eyes and emaciated, zombie-like cheeks is sure to cause rabies, and it’s hard not to stare since his head is twice the size of a normal human’s. Now, I know the real Hulk Hogan has an ego many times greater than the average person’s, but it’s no reason to give him that a big head.
8) Stone Cold Steve Austin
?Man, are there some bad Steve Austin CAWs out there. They are legion. It’s understandable, since this beer drinkin’ redneck is one of the most popular wrestlers of all time. Many gamers try each year to create him since he’s no longer on the active WWE roster, and many fail to do a good job. It was hard to choose the worst thus far, so I had to give it to this CAWs, in which Austin looks like he’s being cosplayed by Ming the Merciless.
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7) Cosmo Kramer
?You know, from that Seinfeld episode where Kramer burst into Jerry’s apartment, body-slammed George and dropkicked Newman into a folding chair.
?Sunny was one of the most drop-dead hot lady wrestlers to ever step foot in a WWF ring. This looks like someone recreated that sinfully ugly Covergirl action figure from the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie toyline in videogame form.
5) Optimus Prime
?One problem often encountered when looking for CAWs online is tiny pictures taken of a television screen with a crappy cell phone camera. But fuzzy, blurry pictures are enough to tell us that this looks less like Optimus Prime than it does a hefty college student who threw together a cheap Transformers Halloween costume at the last minute.
4) The Vampire Karn
?If this dude is based on an actual character and not the scribblings of a surly 12-year-old in his Trapper Keeper, it’s beyond my ken. I guess being a blue vampire is slightly less shameful than sparkling in the sunlight, but that seems like a pyrrhic victory to me.
3) Mr. Perfect
?Mr. Perfect, a.k.a. Curt Hennig, was a gifted technical wrestler and truly one of the all-time greats, not as popular as but standing head and shoulders with the likes of Bret Hart, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. You, sir, are no Mr. Perfect (rather, you are most likely just the personal avatar of 13-year old kid with a bad sense of style and no idea there even was a real Mr. Perfect).
2) Sonic the Hedgehog
?Is my mother reading this today? Because now I’m scared and I need her to hold me.
1) Bob Barker
?Believe it or not, Bob Barker is not as random a CAW to make as you might think. For reasons even more unfathomable, he recently hosted an episode of WWE Raw, surely to draw in all those 9-year old viewers who love both John Cena and The Price is Right. Immortalizing this strange moment by creating a Bob Barker CAW is questionable enough, but the fact that he was made to look like a soul-eating midget version of Bob Barker just crosses the lines of sanity and good taste!