Looks Like Sonic Can Finally Tell Mario to Suck It

And Sonic can quit his day job at the restaurant too. Sega has announced — by way of the video above — Sonic the Hedgehog 4, which is a new Sonic game in 2-D. Well, it’s 3-D, obviously, but on a 2-D plane, so it actually recreates the gameplay of the games that made a Sonic a star. No talking to human girls, no black knights, no fucking werewolves — just running and getting rings. You may have noticed the “Episode 1” subtitle; turns out that this will be an online game on Xbox Live and WiiWare (and assumably PSN at some point). I don’t know how many levels players will get in each episode — surely more than one, and hopefully more than three, or one “World” — but on the bright side, there’s a lot of classic Sonic potentially coming down the pike. Thanks to everyone who sent this in.