Tekken Care of Business

Ooh, even I’m ashamed of myself for that article title. Anyways, there’s a Japanese trailer for the live-action Tekken movie, and it still looks more authentic than I assumed it would be. In fact, at least half the movie looks just like the game, and not coincidentally, half the movie seems to take place in the same tournament ring and involve nothing but fighting. The other half, with the waif-ish John  Foo as… who, exactly? Jin Kazama? Hee hee hee! Man, if I liked Tekken even slightly I’d be furious. But I don’t and I’m not! Don’t worry, Tekken fans, there still seems to be plenty of more accurate cameos, including Tekken fighters like Heihachi, Marshall Law, Eddy Gordo, Yoshimitsu, Jermaine, Tito, the Frito Bandito, Chico, Gummo, Hardrock, Coco, Joe… oh, whoever. If the kangaroo and bear aren’t involved I still don’t give a shit.