?Well, my plan to limit the number of entries by having an anime-themed contest failed spectacularly. Guess I should have known that hate beats genre every time. I also forgot to ask you guys to limit your diatribes, so I got some truly massive entries this time. So there’s two rounds of Honorable Mentions — first, the ones I could summarize, and then, the ones I couldn’t. Here’s the pithy ones:
? ZADL hates Minmei, and remembers 13 specific ways she almost — and should’ve — died
? Kuma42, for recognizing the hidden similarities between Vampire Knight‘s Yuki and Bella from Twilight (basically, they’re both supernatural cockteases)
? RubyRoses, for clearly giving herself her own ‘Nam-style flashback when recalling her hate for Sailor Moon‘s Rini
? DCD for this astute assessment of naked superheoine Kekko Kamen: “The penalty for sexually humiliating women is to have a naked superhero
rub her crotch on your face. …it’s one hell of a mixed message.”
? mythbri, for loathing Rave Master’s snowman-dog-thing Plue without any particular reason, exactly like I do
? operations‘ disapproval of Tenchi from Tenchi Muyo‘s love life: “Really, your choices are this awesome, sexually ripe and experienced teleporting space pirate, or whiny princess bitch, and you can’t make up your mind? Really?”
? Star Man‘s sad ode to most anime heroes: “I always feel bad for male characters that are fuck-off nobodies and somehow save the world ten times over and still can’t get a date. Anime women have the highest standards of the tri-dimension area and I hate them so much for it.”
? Lord Alvarez‘s tragically accurate assessment of Dragonball Z’s Mr. Popo
? Kayla‘s disturbing but well-argued theory that Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask inspired Stephanie Meyer to write Twilight
? Anonymous‘ also disturbing but well-argued theory that Professor Oak is Ash’s real father, and keeps sending him to catch Pok?mon just so he can bang his mom
? Snath, for getting something unique out of the uber-depressing Grave of the Fireflies: “Setsuko [because]she’s a whiny, starving toddler.
‘Waaa, my mommy got burned-ed up. My aunt is a bitch. This dirtball is delicious.’
Way to go, crazy-pants.”
? SimonSebs, for recognizing Afro Samurai‘s Ninja Ninja as the horrible racist stereotype he is
? Ubiq: “While most of these entries are very well-written, they’re ultimately futile since Sosuke Aizen rigged the contest in his favor with a plan that began roughly thirty minutes before Rob’s conception.”
I’d also like to point out that Dr. Azza, Baltin, Kaitune, HitsNothingBreaksIt, Ember, Kaisen, rickicker, MCJean, Dr. Capsulesn’Coffee, nyeeh, KB_SBI and SafetyDance101 all had particularly good entries which were particularly well argued, but were too hard to summarize. They all deserved to win, I had to pick two, which are on the next page.
So based on the contest, the most hated characters in anime include Shinji and Asuka from Evangelion, virtually any and all pilots from Gundam, Releena from Gundam Wing (I’m actually a fan, because she’s just as batshit insane as the boys), all three leads of Naruto but especially Sasuke, the #1 most loathed man in anime. I agree he does suck, but I blame that more on author Masashi Kishimoto not knowing what the fuck he’s doing, since I think Sasuke was at one point — and could have continue being, if Naruto had anything approaching a plot — a cool character. Anyways, I had to award the first shirt to…
There’s no fucking question about it, it’s Gendo Ikari. Now, he’s quite the bad ass, obviously, but he’s easily biggest asshole of a character that has ever existed. Let’s just take a few seconds to recount his unparalleled dickishness…
Disowned his kid, warping him into a whiny little cunt.
He put his dead wife’s soul into a giant robot, which seems awesome, but is quite the douche move, considering the EVAs periodically have large tubes containing emo kids inserted into their spinal columns.
He fucks a chick’s mom, gets her killed, then fucks the aforementioned chick years later, THEN shoots her into a pool of angel blood.
He seemingly makes up for all his dealings with Shinji by giving him a giant robot, which every kid wants. How is this evil? He paints the thing fucking bright purple. Not cool.
He eventually gets tired of having a little bitch for a kid and clones his dead wife into the kid he really wanted, then forces his real kid to work with her constantly. Meaning, not only is he torturing Shinji by making him work with a kid that his own father pays more attention to, he’s making him form a romantic relationship with a chick who is basically his mom, possibly just so he can laugh at him and call him a mother fucker behind his back.
He triggers the end of the world, then feels it necessary to feel Rei, an underage clone girl, up before shit gets real. Sure, it may look like he’s doing to combine ADAM and LILITH, but he’s really just a flaming pedobear. Why else would he have Rei and Asuka run around in skin tight scuba suits all the time?
In the end, yeah, he’s awesome, but he’s easily the biggest asshole in the medium of anime.
I have to agree. For all of you guys who picked Shinji, I think you can easily see — and are supposed to — that Shinji’s fucked-upped-ness is 100% his dad’s fault. While that might make for an awkward series at times (like, the dozen or so times Shinji decides to not fight and cry and wet himself), it’s still Gendo’s fault. Plus, he destroys everyone’s life he touches, which ends up including the entire human race. Good call, SpecterM91. Now for #2…
Happosai from Ranma 1/2. God I hate that little troll. He’s this tiny elderly sex offender that runs around town stealing underage girls’ panties, adding them to his growing collection of dirty underwear that he religiously sniffs and swims in. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that all of the badass characters in Ranma 1/2 have to bow down to this annoying hobbit or the fact that every episode after his introduction stars him as a main character. “Hey, maybe this episode will be about Ranma!” NO! It’s about Happosai. “Hey, Ryoga’s back!” No, it’s about Happosai! “What? Ranma is finally going to admit his painfully obvious feelings for Akane?” NO!!! HAPPOSAI!!! Every episode is about Happosai. In fact, we’re renaming the show Happosai 1/2. Deal with it.
I expect to get some grief for this pick, but hear me out. Obviously, a lot of people listed characters that are awful in terms of their actions, although I clearly say that Gendo Ikari is the most awful in that respect. But what about in terms of just being a character? Ranma 1/2‘s Happosai is a one-joke character, a perverted joke, a bad joke, and, in a series as mainstream and popular as Ranma 1/2, denigrates all of anime. And, like RadishAttack points out, Ranma 1/2 does — for no apparent reason other than punish viewers — make every single fucking episode revolve around this horrible character, and jettisoning everything people like about what was an incredibly popular series. Basically, the character of Happosai destroyed an entire series for no fucking reason, and that is monumentally awful. Still, there’s one more story that needs to be told.
?Awesome Bill From Dawsonville said:
The anime character I have the most hatred for is hands down the Demon Spider-Woman from Wicked City. I don’t hate her because she’s clich?, bland, obnoxious, or useless…No, my hatred for the character is personal. I guess I’ll start at the beginning.(this is going to be really long, so don’t say I didn’t warn you)
When I was 13 I stumbled on a copy of Wicked City at the local video store, as soon as my eyes gazed upon the box art I knew that I had to see this movie. I asked my mom if I could rent it, and but since she was a responsible parent she said no. I may have been unable to see the movie but that didn’t stop me from talking about it all the time, it dominated any conversation I had with my friends and classmates. After weeks of hyping up the movie, I was able to convince a friend of Wicked City’s awesomeness and we decided that over the weekend we would find a way to see the movie. This proved to be disturbingly easy…The clerk let us charge the rental to my friends family account and didn’t ask either one of us for ID. With the object of my obsession now in hands we rushed back to his house and promptly started the movie. Wicked City opens with the main character having sex with a woman who, you guessed it, transforms into a demon spider then tries to kill him, which would have been fine except that my friend’s mom walked into the room at this exact moment. What followed proved to be equal parts of the most embarrassing, awkward, and semi-traumatizing moments of my young life. My friend’s mom began angrily shouting at us(highlights include ‘this will turn you into serial killers and rapists’ and ‘Oh God, why did it have to be my boy?’) before leaving to make two phone calls. The first was to my parents, the second was to her Church’s priest who came over to speak with us about the ways Satan uses sin to tempt us and that we were both going to hell unless we got back on God’s path. Thankfully my parents showed up and took me home before he finished his sermon. Any relief I felt be getting out of there quickly eroded when I had to have the 2nd most awkward conversion of my life in which I had to explain the situation to my parents. The cherry on top of that shit sundae was that I only saw the first 10 minutes of the movie.
For both living through this experience and admitting the story to several thousand nerds, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville gets a shirt. The Demon Spider-Woman isn’t intrinsically awful, but I’m reasonably sure Awesome Bill loathes her more than anyone else loathed their entry’s subject. Congrats to all three winners, and thanks to everyone who entered.