? So many people today get caught up in the wrong things. We spend so much time worrying about things that are none of our business — is this person gay, is this person straight — that we forget the important things. Things like, can this person totally kill me? Can they kick my ass without the slightest effort or difficulty on their part? Can they rip me into three pieces so quickly that my brain can process the image of my decapitated body before I die?
We present to you a list of fifteen nerdy characters from comics, movies and TV series that can do all of those things, but also just so happen to be interested in people of the same sex, which there’s absolutely nothing wrong with. Because the important part is that they could annihilate you, me or pretty much anyone they want. Seriously, it wouldn’t even be close.
Daily list suggested by WishForRobots.
15) Sam Adama from Caprica
?Sam Adama is a hit man for the ridiculously-named-even-for-a-SyFy-show Ha’la’tha crime syndicate. He’s got a stable home life with his husband Larry, his brother Joseph, and his young nephew William (who is sadly in for some serious teenage pizza-face before he changes into Edward James Olmos in Battlestar Galactica). Sam is pretty handy with knives and if you cross his family, he will cut you. Deep.
14) Tom Friendly from Lost
Tom Friendly is perhaps the most aptly named character in all of Lost. Although he perpetrated some pretty horrible acts, including the kidnapping of Walt, Tom came off as a pretty nice guy. He helped Kate adjust to her life on Hydra Island, played football with Jack at the Others’ Village, and even watched over Ben during his spinal surgery. So, it was pretty shocking when Sawyer killed the defeated Tom in cold blood. Although, it was substantially more shocking to see that Tom had a taste for younger Hispanic men in a flashback that aired after he died. It was tough to see one of Lost’s iconic villains die, but like Sawyer said, he shouldn’t have taken the boy.
13 & 12) Wiccan and Hulkling from Young Avengers
?Young Avengers Wiccan and Hulkling both have some odd parental issues. Hulkling is the child of the deceased Skrull princess Anelle and the really dead Kree superhero Captain Mar-Vell. Although his parents’ two races hated each other, Hulkling has inherited super strength from his father and shape-shifting abilities from his mother. Wiccan is the reincarnated soul of the Scarlet Witch and the Vision’s fake babies (a long and confusing story). His greatest asset is the same hazily defined magic that eventually made his mother go crazy. It’s great to see that in this mixed-up world we live in, two kids with tough backgrounds can still come together to wear outlandish costumes and kick the crap out of people.
11) Obsidian from Infinity, Inc. and JSA
?Obsidian has the ability to merge with his own shadow, which in and of itself is not that impressive sounding. But, when he becomes his shadow, he also gains super strength and the power to fly and pass through solid objects. And if that doesn’t blow you away, how about the power to take control over other people’s shadows! Obsidian has had a troubled relationship with both his family and his abilities and he even turned evil and battled the JSA for a while. These days, he’s settled down into a long-time romance with Assistant D.A. Damon Matthews. But knowing Obsidian, it probably won’t be long until he sneaks out of the shadows again.
10 & 9) Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd from Diamonds Are Forever
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd racked up among the highest body counts of any James Bond villains. The two assassins had many unusual quirks, like completing each other’s sentences and using horrible puns and aphorisms. However, they were startlingly efficient, killing most people they came in contact with. They also had the least palpable sexual chemistry of any film couple ever.
8) Colossus from Ultimate X-Men
?In terms of powers, the Colossus of the Ultimate Universe is a lot like the Colossus of the 616 Marvel Universe. But in terms of personality, he is drastically different. Sensitive, petulant, longing over boys he can’t be with, the Ultimate Colossus is a far cry from the more stoic Piotr Rasputin most people were used to. Colossus started the series with a giant unrequited crush on Wolverine, but ended up dating the Ultimate version of Northstar, a character who would be on this list if he wasn’t constantly being captured, killed and brainwashed.
7) Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter Series
Dumbledore was one of the biggest badasses of the wizarding world. Not content with just being the head of Hogwarts, Dumbledore even inspired his own fan club/militia, Dumbledore’s Army. Sadly, Dumbledore never really emotionally recovered from his duel with his one true love and very evil wizard Gellert Grindlewald. Although killed during the war with Voldemort, Dumbledore will live on in a trading card, available in select packages of Chocolate Frogs.
6) Batwoman from Detective Comics
Batwoman premiered to much media ballyhoo. Everyone was interested in the fantastically hot, red-haired lesbian crimefighter. But then she disappeared for a while, finally resurfacing in Detective Comics a few months ago. So, far, the new Batwoman has been focused on infiltrating and destroying the Religion of Crime. She has also teamed up with her former lover, Renee Montoya, in her guise as the new Question. There are still a ton of questions about this new Batwoman, but one thing is for sure: If you commit crime in Gotham, she will stomp the living crap out of you.
5) Capt. Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood
Let’s get this out of the way upfront: Captain Jack Harkness is not strictly gay. He’s omnisexual. He’s willing to have sex with men, women and/or aliens, the “and/or” meaning separately or all at the same time. The insanely charismatic Captain Jack may not have the superpowers of some of the other characters on this list, but he does have lots of powerful alien tech and weapon as the leader of Torchwood. Plus, thanks to a freak event in Doctor Who, he’s immortal, meaning no many times you kill him, he’ll keep coming back until he kills you. And you won’t be coming back.
4) Shatterstar in X-Force and X-Factor
?Shatterstar has been a member of X-Force and X-Factor. His past is clouded in mystery: maybe he’s Longshot’s son from the future? Maybe he is a genetic construct built by Mojo? Maybe he just really likes padded white outfits? Shatterstar has always had a confusing, 1990’s style X-Men origin, but he’s constantly been devoted to his recently depowered teammate, Rictor. Shatterstar’s creator, Rob Liefeld, was not happy that writer Peter David explicitly made Rictor and Shatterstar a gay couple. But as Peter David was quoted as saying, “”I understand that some parents have the same reaction. They were responsible for their children’s first appearances and, when informed of their sexual persuasion, firmly declare it’s impossible, they can’t be gay.”
3 & 2) Midnighter and Apollo from The Authority
?Midnighter and Apollo are basically the Batman and Superman of the Wildstorm Universe… that is, if Batman and Superman finally gave in to the immense sexual tension between them. Apollo and Midnighter are mainstays of the Authority, the biggest and most powerful super team of the Wildstorm Universe. The two have a committed relationship and have even adopted a daughter, the spirit of the 21st Century, Jenny Quantum. Midnighter is even the first mainstream gay character to have his own comic book series. Make fun of Apollo and Midnighter’s sexuality at your own peril; Midnighter has gone as far as to sodomize a man with a jackhammer for getting between him and Apollo.
1) Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow Rosenberg is a witch, the best friend of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and a complete badass. She’s so powerful that with a wave of her hand, she flayed the skin off of bad guy Warren. Willow started off chasing Xander and eventually dated Oz, a werewolf. But she found her true love when she hooked up with fellow witch Tara. When Tara was killed, all bets were off. Willow succumbed to her dark magics and became a certifiable ass kicker. If you’re an evil supernatural dude, you’d be way better off facing Buffy or Angel than tackling Willow.