We all know the story of the narration the studio forced on Blade Runner, hoping to make a more sensible movie than Ridley Scott’s masterpiece. Scott didn’t want it, star Harrison Ford didn’t want it, and so Ford passive-aggressively gave the world’s most lackluster, emotionless voiceover performance ever. Or second-most, perhaps, because I’ve just discovered this:
I’m sure this is an old video to several of you, but to the rest, it’s an early trailer for The Empire Strikes Back which includes narration by Harrison Ford who tries — and succeeds — to be as awful as possible. He’s full of obviously bullshit enthusiasm, and his boredom and his contempt for the narration is beyond obvious. I’m sure he thought that Lucas would never use such an obviously awful performance, but Ford severely underestimated Big George in that regard (in his defense, it was 1979, and he didn’t know what we know now). Now all I can think is Harrison Ford’s Books-on-Tape, where a belligerent, drunken Ford slurs his way contemptuously through books he hates. Perhaps he could start with some Star Wars Expanded Universe novels? (Via Great White Snark)
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.