Michael Bay Is Making a TMNT Movie


?Michael Bay’s production company Platinum Dunes has been hired to produce a new TMNT movie, and a live-action one at that (Bay will produce, but not direct, presumably). So I’m going to gaze into the crystal ball and see what Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie will be:

? The Turtles will only be in 40% of the movie
? The hero will be Casey Jones, a hockey-playing teen from the suburbs
? April O’Neil will be his hot girlfriend who lives next door
? The military will at one point hunt the Turtles
? The Turtles’ dialogue will be dirty jokes and turtle-based puns that will make the ’80s cartoon look like Shakespeare in comparison
? The Turtles will use more ridiculous weapons and technology and possibly mutant powers than actual ninja techniques or weapons

Did I miss anything? (Via First Showing)