Um… I enjoy Crackdown. I’m looking forward to Crackdown 2 a great deal. But as a nameless, occasionally faceless cop with a license to kill and super-powers, I never much worried about the “story” of Crackdown. I just threw cars into criminals and shot rockets at them from the tops of buildings. It’s all I needed.
But someone decided that Crackdown 2 needed some sort of explication, and thus made the above cartoon series (part 1 of some number). Two problems: 1) I don’t care. Sure, Crackdown 2 has mutants in addition to criminals, but I don’t care how the mutants were made, I just care that they’re another set of people I can shoot without getting the police on my ass. Anything that is not me killing thugs and monsters is boring. 2) Crackdown 2 looks good. Hell, Crackdown 1 still looks pretty good — so why they fuck didn’t these people use their own game engine to make a cartoon rather than some crappy motion comic? Ugh. At least if it was the game engine I might watch to see what some of the locations looked like.
Oh, bonus 3) what idiot cop busts someone for spray-painting a wall in Pacific City? THERE ARE THREE MAJOR CRIME FAMILY AND AN ARMY OF KILLER MUTANTS RUNNING AROUND. THE GRAFFITI ARTISTS ARE PROBABLY NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, KOJAK. Idiot. (Via Kotaku)
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.