Movies, Toys

Transformers 3 Taketh, and Then Taketh Away Some More

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Two awful, awful things: 1) For some reason — I assume something Satan related — our beloved Alan Tudyk has been cast in Transformers 3. I don’t know why, I don’t know what role, and I don’t know how he gets out of the movie without an alien robot defecating on him.

tf3 tudyk twins despair.jpg

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2) Even though Michael Bay swore as recently as this past Monday that Skids and Mudflap, the insanely racist stereotype robots that make Jar Jar Binks seem as dignified as Nelson Mandela, would not be appearing in Transformers 3, First Showing has set reports confirming that the Chevy Bolt and Trax cars that the Twins transform into when they’re not talking bad and threatening to bust a cap in people’s asses or discussing how they’re illiterate are already on set, and have been spotted multiple times. I trust First Showing on this, because Michael Bay isn’t just the type of douchebag who would include universally reviled characters in one of his sequels just to be a dick, but he’s also exactly the type of douchebag who would do that AND SWEAR HE’S NOT DOING IT THREE FUCKING DAYS BEFORE.

So. The disgrace of Alan Tudyk and the return of the Racist Twins. As god is my witness, I don’t know which one is worse.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.