G.I. Joe/TerrorDrome Tweets: And the Winners Are…

?Finally. Sorry for the delay, but as you folks who follow TR on Twitter know, I was in Washington DC looking for a new Topless Robot HQ. The mission was successful, but at a cost — I didn’t get to judge last weekend’s TR contest entries until today.

Well, the wait is over — the honorable mentions and winners are after the jump. But between you click, I would like to recognize two very special Honorable Mentions: ButlerGeorge, for negating the dozens of “SnakeEyes: …” tweets with “RealSnakeEyes: To those thinking it’s funny to tweet “…” as me – it’s my vocal cords that don’t work, not my Arashikage ninja-trained fingers. #Jackassery” and to thelordofhell, for creating not only the best SnakeEyes twitter username, but perhaps the best fictional character username ever, in Snake Eyes’ “1_1” Brilliant, both of you. Now on with the twittery.

darthbogus said:

hawk: I thought we were a highly trained military team. Why did so many people bring their pets? Why not bring their kids?

Anonymous said:

shipwreck: Why do people always ask me if I like the YMCA? or if I was in the Navy. Of course I was in the Navy.

Arachnophobe said:

AirJoe: Big Lob makes his tweet! But Big Lob’s got no followers! 🙁

Sean said:

Duke: @SnakeEyes If you don’t want me to bone Scarlet, you have to say something.
SnakeEyes: @Duke …
Duke: @SnakeEyes One train to Bone-town, departing shortly! All aboard!

This_Charming_Man said:

Tomax@Extensive Enterprises@Xamot@Extensive Enterprise : Hello brother! I’ve finally signed on to…
Xamot@Extensive Enterprise@Tomax@Extensive Enterprises: …Tweeter? Its about time, listen we need to get the rest of the crew…
Tomax@Extensive Enterprises@Xamot@Extensive Enterprise: …to tweet along with us? First lets talk to Baroness, I have a feeling…
Xamot@Extensive Enterprise@Tomax@Extensive Enterprises: …that she’s up for some sandwhich action? She told the me other night! She said we need to find a way…
Tomax@Extensive Enterprises@Xamot@Extensive Enterprise:…to get Destro out of the way Friday night? How about we tell him and and Dr. Mindbender…
Xamot@Extensive Enterprise@Tomax@Extensive Enterprises:…That we found the perfect specimen for their Project: Serpentor…
Tomax@Extensive Enterprises@Xamot@Extensive Enterprise:
…WHICH IS SGT. SLAUGHTER! HAHAHA
Xamot@Extensive Enterprise@Tomax@Extensive Enterprises:
…WHICH IS SGT. SLAUGHTER! HAHAHA
DestroTheNinthDoctor: Y’know I’m the one who supplied those Iphones to you right?

Mordrun said:

Cobra Medic19:CC laid off 20 more medics today. Haven’t used medkit/bandaid yet. Damn Joes shoot gun/vehicles to hell & back, transfer Vehicle maint group?

shoe said:

Cobrarecruit13452: @TerrorTech Hey, uh, I have some serious reservations about this vehicle you guys want me to pilot.
Terrortech: @Cobrarecruit13452 what seems to be the problem?
Cobrarecruit13452: @Terrortech lets start with the obvious, how is it supposed to move exactly?
Terrortech: @Cobrarecruit13452 it jumps.
Cobrarecruit13452: @Terrortech Jumps?
Terrortech: @Cobrarecruit13452 yeah, like a jumping spider. death from above you know? trust us, people will be shitting their pants in terror.
Cobrarecruit13452: @terrortech right. sure whatever. can you at least change the name?
Terrortech: @Cobrarecruit13452 what’s wrong with the name?
Cobrarecruit13452: @Terrortech it’s just that “cobra pogo” sounds uh, less than terrifying.
Terrortech: @Cobrarecruit13452 what are you talking about? have you ever fallen off of a pogo stick? it HURTS.
Cobrarecruit13452: @Terrortech right. is there any way I can not pilot this thing?
Terrortech @Cobrarecruit13452 look, just trust us on this one. we designed the trubble bubble, we know what we’re doing.

SixShooter said:

CobraCommander: @Dessstro, Did you break the Ssss key on my computer? It’sss sssticky! Much like your lipsss on Ssserpentor’sss behind!

Lo Pan said:

LarryHama: @CobraLaLaLaLa So. Guys. Yeah we need to talk…

mimic91 said:

Snoblows: hey guys, what up?i’m retarded, and lovesnow like i love cock
Snow_Job:@Snoblows Hey Shipwreck, I know it’s you. Fuck you man, I’ve still got pictures from Newyears
Snow_Job: “Snoblows” has been deleted? That’s what I thought

Mike said:

CobraCmdr: I just became the mayor of Cobra Island on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/c@bra

Joshie said:

CobraCommander: Woah, just saw @SgtSlaughter destroyed with some atomic weapon called a “leg drop”. Why haven’t we recruited this “Hulk Hogan” guy yet?

The Yellow Dart said:

Viper235: just explained to a new recruit the whole “Python Patrol” craze… am i getting THAT old?

R3MY said:

TheRealViper: @joehq This is…The Viper. I start top floor first… #justinbieber

LeaderDeslok said:

born4chrome: @the_Baron_ass want to come over tonight to test my new ‘ultimate weapon?’
the_Baron_ass: @born4chrome i’d love to. but every time it ‘explodes’ we have to spend the rest of the night finding your 3 component parts.

Real Old Nerd said:

COBRA_HR: To all COBRA soldiers, just because you work for COBRA does not mean you get COBRA insurance if you’re fired.

Joe D. said:

CobraTrooper3450: Marksmanship contest with Imperial Storm Troopers tomorrow, go Cobra!
CobraTrooper3450: Marksmanship contest on day 7, still a tie
CobraTrooper3450: Marksmanship contest canceled after 63 days, ammo expenditure deemed too high, trophy hocked and money used to recoup loses.

Beatle Aaron said:

WildWeasel: WTF? We have to line up in alphabetical order in the mess hall?! This blows!
Zartan: @WildWeasel fuck you

shinfoco said:

PartyMike: @LeonardoLeads @DonDoesMachines @CoolRalph Wrong drome, dudes!

Baltin said:

ShipWrecked: Believe me when I say, “I fucked a mermaid!”

RandomChance replied to Baltin:

Seaspray: @ShipWrecked Was totally there first, dude! ROFL

Jeri said:

Duke: Who in the world is Channing Tatum and what the hell is ‘Step Up?!’

Joe D. said:

CobraCommander: You kick a rabid dog ONE TIME in self defense and don’t hunt down the little pipsqueak that takes a picture of it and they NEVER let it go

Scooter Atreides said:

Destro: @Baroness Bring graphite. Know a guy who swears by it.

DCD said:

? Snowbody’sPerfect: cmon snow cmon snow cmon snow snow snow just snow cmon snow snow one fucking time snow snow a mission with snowwwwww….snow. snow now. NOW.
? UsssedCarsss4Lessss: Ssso ssstoked about @Cold_Ssslither ssshow at the ssstadium thisss weekend, going to be awesssome! Ticketsss, free absssolutely not a trap

Odemit said:

Xamot: @Tomax only now typing it I noticed your name is mine backwards. Mum is so clever.
Tomax: @Xamot no YOUR name is MINE backwards.

NotNerdy’Nuff said:

TimmyJ: @Bobbyman Hey remember those fuckers who came by and told us we couldn’t play at that construction site?
Bobbyman: @TimmyJ Those fuckers…ha ha “go joe!” wtf does that even mean? And what was with the parrot?
TimmyJ: @Bobbyman they just stopped by my house and told my mom! She took away my PS3!!! They’re coming over to your house now!
Bobbyman: Shit. FML.
TimmyJ: @Bobbyman we still on to snort glue later today?
Bobbyman: sure.

Opterabot said:

SGTSLAUGHTER: I’ve been waiting for you maggots to screw up, so let’s hear it!
SPIRIT: @SGTSLAUGHTER Y
TOLLBOOTH: @SGTSLAUGHTER M
LAW: @SGTSLAUGHTER C
SHIPWRECK: @SGTSLAUGHTER A

SafetyDance101 said:

Duke: You can laugh, but those PSA’s got me pussy service anywhere. Let’s just say being good with kids is half the battle.

Cobra Blueshirt said:

CobraBlueShirt: Best part of our Vegas Trip: At the Bellagio, a craps dealer yells out “snake eyes” & O’Shansky pisses himself before fainting. #hailcobra

And now the winners! Feel free to criticize me if yu want — I know you will — but for some reason, the more banal the entries the harder I laughed. Maybe I’m in a modd or something, I don’t know. Certainly, there were a lot of people who deserve TR shirts above, but these are the ones that I enjoyed the most.

demoncat said:

Serpentor: will some one please tell Zartan to stop leaving his stuff on my chariot this i command

Long-running TR commenter demoncat finally gets his first win, and I couldn’t be happier for him. Serpentor bitching about Zartan leaving his shit on his chariot is so silly, and funnier to me than if it had been something wackier — but the kick is the “this I command” at the end. You just know if Serpentor really had a Twitter account, he’d end every tweet with “this I command.” It’s as ridiculous as “Serpentor: I have decided peanut butter will no longer be stored in the pantry but the fridge THIS I COMMAND.” Fantastic.

Izandra said:

SexyChromeDome: @LadyJaye Could you PLEASE stop saying we’re related on Facebook? It’s embarrassing.

For those who don’t know, there was an episode of the original G.I. Joe cartoon that implied Destro and Lady Jaye were related. The idea of Destro stooping to publicizing this information on his Facebook page in order to sow mistrust with G.I. Joe makes me giggle. The fact that it’s based on canon makes it even better.

Bill Binder said:

@Tomax: @Xamot #ff

Judge me all you want — I still cannot read this without laughing hysterically. So simple. So perfect. The idea of Tomax telling his Twitter followers to follow his twin brother Xamot for #FollowFriday (hence the #ff) is so wonderfully douche-tastic, and yet I can see them doing without any guile. And then telling their followers to follow their twin brothers every week, as if somehow people had forgotten Xamot and Tomax had a twin. Congrats to all the winners, the honored, and everyone who entered.