TR Contest: Inappropriate Book Installments

?Screw a lengthy intro. I may never recover from last weekend’s contest. I was trying to think up a short, sweet contest — this one’s probably going to invite more entries than I’d like, but it’s all I can think of and I really, really need to start drinking. So this contest is to create more volumes of popular nerdy book series that are totally inappropriate. If you’ve ever read a Harry Potter FFF, you probably know what’s I’m talking about; things like:

? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of His Bowels

So that’s the contest. Make up more books in popular nerd book series that sound awful. More examples:

? Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time: The Thighs of the World
? Amway Salesmen of Dune
? Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot 2: I, Roomba

And so on. Please note:

? Three entries per person. I already regret this, but it’s a fun enough idea that I don’t want to limit you guys to one apiece.
? Points will be docked for outright perversity; we got enough of that last contest. Subtle hints of perversity are fine and will likely be rewarded.
? Any sci-fi or fantasy series is game, obviously. Terrible sequels to stand-alone books are also okay.
? The contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Monday, August the 13th.

Now have at it. I have bourbon to drink. See you folks on Monday.