Parasite Eve 3 Should Be More Exciting
Back in the ancient days of the first PlayStation, Square Enix made some survival-horror/action games called Parasite Eve that were pretty groovy. Then they stopped making them after just two, which is surprising. But now the geniuses at Squenix have finally released a third Parasite Eve game, and managed to make sure no cares about it in the slightest. They’ve achieved this in several ways:
? Not naming it Parasite Eve 3
? Naming it something stupid and vague, i.e. The 3rd Birthday
? Making it for the PSP and not a console
? Running the game on a lackluster version of the Resident Evil 4 engine
…and I’m bored just writing about it. “The 3rd Birthday“? You’ve got a be kidding me. You know, I really miss the days when if Square wanted to fuck up, they spent all their money on a movie no one wanted to watch. At least they left their games alone. Thanks to HolyDemonSnap for the tip.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.