The Best 1970s Japanese Star Wars Toy Commercial that Never Existed

You may be aware that Super7 has made a Shogun Warriors-inspired giant Super Shogun Stormtrooper figure that redefines the words “retro” and “awesome.” I mean, it’s a 2-foot tall Kenner Stormtrooper that can fire its fucking fist — toys don’t come much cooler. And yet, Super7 decided to try anyways with this amazing ’70s-style Japanese commercial for the toy. complete with a wonderful sparkler rocket punch effects. It’s just enough to make me give in and pay the $300 for this impossibly phenomenal toy. Of course, the commercial does nothing to make $300 appear in my wallet or my bank account, so I guess we’re at an impasse.