5 Minutes of Star Wars Holiday Special Agony

What’s worse than this fan-edited, 5-minute version of the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special? The original 97-minute-long, unedited Star Wars Holiday Special. Watch this version if you dare, but please, please, please don’t watch the original thing. Anyone’s who’s seen it will back me up — it’s not laughably bad, it’s not so bad it’s good, it’s so bad you will fucking pray for death before Chewbacca’s dad Itchy starts watching human pornography. The first time I watched it, I was sober, and yet it was so awful my body tried to protect itself by blacking out. When I woke up, I heard Art Carney ask Chewbacca’s wife if she “had any more a’ those Wookiee Cookies,” and then I blacked out again. Seriously, kids — friends don’t let friends watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. And now you know.