Might as Well Write-Off the Preacher Movie, Too

?DJ Caruso just tweeted that he has signed a deal to direct a Preacher movie, based on the Garth Ennis comic from Vertigo. Caruso has directed Disturbia, Eagle Eye, and a movie which did not star Shia the Beef, I Am Number 4. Look, I don’t think Caruso is an incompetent director, but he’s only… well, competent. No one says, “Wow, I can’t wait to see that new DJ Caruso flick!” He’s workmanlike and that’s fine, Hollywood need people who can direct movies adequately and not fuck them up, but Preacher? Preacher deserves to have a real director, someone who is more than “workmanlike.”

Do you want to know how this movie is going to go? It’s going to be exactly like Constantine. The character names will stay the same, the plot will have most of the blasphemy and insanity and edge taken out, and it’ll end up a story about good-hearted preacher Jesse Custer who, with his vampire pal Cassidy, has to rescue his the love of his life Tulip from either the Saint of Killers or the Devil (there’s no way God is staying the bad guy). There’ll probably be some crappy CG demons for Jesse to fight on the way. I can’t decide who will play Jesse — maybe Channing Tatum, although honestly, the Beef has a pretty good shot — but I’m going to guess Rachel Bilson for Tulip and maybe… Russell Brand for Cassidy. Anyone have any other guesses? (Via The Film Stage)