Well, Smurf Me in the Smurfing Smurf
I would like to note that today and today alone, I have blogged about:
? Peeing
? Daniel Craig getting anally probed by aliens
? Personally gaming, while naked, on a bean bag cahir
? Where to buy fake rubber tits for masturbatory uses
And yet I’m certain this new Smurfs movie trailer is still the most horrible, depraved thing you’ll see on TR today. Katy Perry failing to convincingly portray the voice of a blue CG gnome. Gargamel getting hit by car after car after car, demonstrating the filmmakers couldn’t even think of enough decent ideas to fill up a trailer. A Smurf falling into the toilet. The short but unmistakably sound of Tone Loc’s “Wild Thing.” God, if I were a braver man, I’d put a gun in my smurf and pull the trigger to avoid the merest chance of seeing this movie. So to speak.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.