Well, Smurf Me in the Smurfing Smurf

I would like to note that today and today alone, I have blogged about:

? Peeing
? Daniel Craig getting anally probed by aliens
? Personally gaming, while naked, on a bean bag cahir
? Where to buy fake rubber tits for masturbatory uses

And yet I’m certain this new Smurfs movie trailer is still the most horrible, depraved thing you’ll see on TR today. Katy Perry failing to convincingly portray the voice of a blue CG gnome. Gargamel getting hit by car after car after car, demonstrating the filmmakers couldn’t even think of enough decent ideas to fill up a trailer. A Smurf falling into the toilet. The short but unmistakably sound of Tone Loc’s “Wild Thing.” God, if I were a braver man, I’d put a gun in my smurf and pull the trigger to avoid the merest chance of seeing this movie. So to speak.