Xavier’s Institute for Gifted, Stupid Youngsters

Three new character videos have come out for X-Men: First Class, featuring Beast, Havok and Banshee. Now, these videos contain a lot of new footage and make the movie look a lot of fun — I’m always a sucker for a good superhero-learns-to-use/control-his powers montage — but it also makes these three youngsters seem really, really stupid. Shall we?

First up is Beast, who, before he turns into the Cookie Monster, seems to have the mutant power of the world’s worst case of hand-feet. They are decidedly weird-looking, and Beast is desperate, just desperate for a cure so he can fit into normal, human society. Do you know what else might help him fit into normal, human society? A PAIR OF FUCKING SHOES. WHICH HE WEARS. AND WHICH OBVIOUSLY PREVENTS EVEN OTHER MUTANTS FROM RECOGNIZING HIS MUTANT POWER. Sigh. Havok and Banshee are after the jump.

? Admittedly, Havok isn’t as dumb as Beast, but he is wearing a sleeveless hoodie in the ’60s, and I don’t think anyone would call that smart. Also, the movie makes his plasma energy blasts or whatever they are look like hula hoops, which doesn’t seem particularly stylish either.

? Last and certainly least is Banshee, who, in this short video, manages to 1) ask a girl out in the least enticing way possible, 2) get shot down, 3) fuck up some innocent fish in retaliation, and 4) allows himself to be pushed out a window in order to learn to fly with his sonic screams… as if “falling” was somehow a necessary factor in screaming. I think Professor X. just wanted to toss the idiot out the window and make him think it was for his own benefit. Between that and him making Beast be an unnecessarily living target in Havok’s energy blast practice in the video above, it’s clear X-Men: First Class has gotten at least one thing right — Xavier’s a dick.