Nintendo’s New WiiU Console Will Revolutionize the Way You Something Something

Ohhhh I know I’m going to get shit from the Nintendo Power Posse, but this must be done. Nintendo announced their new console at E3 today, which will debut next year. It’s finally high res and can match the graphics of the Xbox 360 and PS3 and whatnot, but it’s main claim to fame is that is has a new controller that is pretty much just an iPad. You can watch the video and see all the shit it does, but what it amounts to is this: It’s a way for you to play games on your TV without watching your TV.

I get the uses of have a screen on your controller for things like inventory (e.g., Legend of Zelda) or picking plays so your opponent can’t see (Madden, etc.). I get this because the Dreamcast had the same functionality with the VMU. What I don’t get is the appeal of having to hold a goddamned iPad in front of my TV to play a goddamned videogame. I didn’t want to wave my arms around with a WiiMote, I sure as fuck am too lazy to hold that thing up for an hour. Besides, if I have a big TV, I would actually like TO SEE THE GAME ON MY GODDAMN BIG TV and not have to watch my goddamned controller.

In good news, the WiiU has a lot of third party support from folks like EA, Capcom, etc. In totally predictable news, Nintendo announced a new Mario Kart, a new Smash Bros., and a new Luigi’s Mansion. The bad news is that I’m 99% certain this is going to end up exactly like the Wii.

Third-party developers will make awesome games for the WiiU and its new controller functionality… at first. These games maybe amazing… but since most people will just end up buying their Maddens and Call of Duties and Splinter Cells and whatnot on Xbox 360 and PS3. Eventually, Nintendo will be the only ones developing for their console again, regurgitating the the same 10 or so games they’ve been making for more than a decade. Now, that’s not the worst thing in the world — it’s worked so far, and I’m sure it’ll work for another decade at least. But it doesn’t make me excited in the least.

Maybe I’m wrong — I often am — but this controller seems like even more of a gimmick than the original WiiMote. Maybe the third-party support will stay strong, but it hasn’t for the last three generations of Nintendo consoles, and I don’t see that changing now. But most of all, I just refuse to pay yet again for the same damn Nintendo games I’ve already bought. Making me use an IPad to play them isn’t making them new. It’s just making me irritated. (Via Kotaku)