Saints Row Is a Terrible Place to Live (and Die)
I know many of you are Saints Row fans, so this 7-minute walkthrough of some of the game’s… amenities, shall we say, should be right up your alley. However, having not played Saints Row before, all I can think of is how I would never live there, ever. Just living there is inviting cause for harm, even moreso than GTA. In GTA, you normally just get run over or shot. In Saints Row, the dangers include:
? Getting suplexed on the pavement by strangers (was anyone else freaked out that the first four bystanders he happened to do this to were women?)
? Getting beaten by a ludicrously long purple dildo
? Getting punched with some magic boxing glove and having your body explode
? Tanks
? Airstrikes
? Getting shot by a laser from a VTOL jet
? Getting sucked into a cannon and then fired across the city, circus-clown style
All I’m saying is that the rents must be phenomenal.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.