Goddammit, Soul Calibur Is Getting Goofier
Now, I know my beloved Soul Calibur series has always been a bit goofy in the premise and female characters’ breasts department. That’s been without question. But the series has always been reasonably good about sticking to reasonably realistic action for a fighting game (reasonably, people — I know a game that features an undead pirate, Link from Legend of Zelda and fucking Yoda is not the height of realism)… and now I’m looking at this SDCC trailer for Soul Calibur V and it looks for all the world like there are hypercombos. FUCK HYPERCOMBOS, BANDAI NAMCO. If I want hypercombos or some shit I’ll play Street Fighter. I just want to play an unnaturally young daughter of a ghost pirate with a magic whip-sword without it getting all goofy, okay?!
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.