The 2nd Annual TR Art Contest: And the Winners Are…

Mythbri - 5 Stages of FFF.jpg

?Sweet mother of Megatron, it’s finally here! Yes, the much-longer-than-I-had-initially-anticipated TR art contest has finally come to a close. I’d like to thank all of you who entered, especially after my passive-aggressive bitching on Monday. I ended up with more than 150 entries, about 40 of which you’ll see here. My apologies for not including more; but if I had, it would have taken an extra week to judge, and I figured we needed to move on.

So first, give TR contributor Mythbri a hand for her fantastic (and eerily accurate) FFF-themed pic above, and hit the jump to discover what artistic wonders await you. Grab a glass of wine, if you want. It makes things artier!

I’ve divided the entries into a number of sections. First…


I like the subtlety of the “toplessness” in Cpt. Zeep‘s entry:

Cpt Zeep - banneridea.png


Lisa Citron knows what’s up:

Lisa Citron - ArtContestFinal.jpg


Try not to think about how big the robot’s nipples must actually be in Lumberjack‘s picture:

Lumberjack - MY TOPLESS ROBOT.jpg

Sean R. helps Artoo shake his moneymaker:

Sean R - TR2_ SEXY!.jpg

Vinicius Aguiar‘s nipples are plainly labeled:

Vinicius Aguiar - Topless Robot Wallpaper.jpg



Mmmph mmrph Luke B. aaarrbblegaarrblle:

Luke B - 12946819.jpg

I don’t know why Saintesse Yin did this instead of writing an erotic fan fic about Harley getting abused:

Saintesse Yin - whose_responsible_this__harley_quinn_by_chasingyuffentine-d4k3p0a.jpg



I love how mad Bender is that this lovely lady is about to blast him with a Green Lantern ring in this Greg Easton photo:

Greg Easton - _DSC9293 copy2.jpg

Truer words, Greggory, truer words:

Greggory - art contest attempt 3.jpg


I have  my doubts Jason R. made these children during the three weeks this contest ran, but I’ll allow it on account of hypercuteness.

Jason R - 2012-01-08 21.50.29.jpg



It is indeed, BobJ. Asshole.

BobJ - ET pit hair.jpg

Brad Hall
wrote a little tale about my offline adventures, none of which is true and all of which is degrading.
You may download it here..

That’s me in the corner (losing my religion) of Fabibot‘s pic. I would like to point out at that although I’m by no means svelte, I do actually still have a chin, despite how she’s drawn me:

Fabibot - toplessrobot_contest.jpg

TyraWM made this animated gif of an adorable me drinking booze. I’ve never said this before, but I kind of want merchandise of me now:

TyraWM - r0o3rt.jpg



Brando Lars made this awesome — if a bit confusing — TR Monopoly board. Click on it to see it large, and let me know if anyone tries to play:

Brando Lars - contest entry.jpg

How about an FFF crossstitch trifecta? First, Melefim:


Next, Molly Johnson:

Molly Johnson - 114933.jpg

And last but not least Steen:

Steen - Af1ya_lCMAAVIf-.jpg


My favorite part of this Squarepupilsherald is the look on the raptor’s face, as if to say “What the fuck is wrong with this chick?”:

Ben Patterson - tr entry 3.jpg


Thanks to the glory of this 8-bit gif from Falcione, Toht can melt for all eternity.

Falcione - 8bit_melt.gif

I can’t decide what I like better in this Jono Everson pic. It’s either the Queen’s Chariot of Blood or Jon Arbuckle’s lasagna guitar:

Jono Everson - Royal Rescue II.jpg


Mousiek draw this meet-up of recent FFF stars, which instantly made me wonder why they were getting together, and then I cried as it dawned on me what that would be:

Mousiek - fff3.jpg


Yann‘s pic is so wrong it becomes right… but then keeps on going and ends firmly back in wrong again. Well done.




Alex Reid sent me this pic a few months ago, so it didn’t follow the contest rules, but I figure it was still awesome enough to warrant showing you guys.

Alex Reid - Nerdo.jpg

I couldn’t decide if the lovely lady in Baron von Siegel‘s picture was of a robot or not, so I ended up putting it here.

Baron von Slegel - TR.jpg

Gagagalvatron missed the boat with this invention, if he’s only called it the WRT Cannon, there’s no way he wouldn’t have won. I’d think the WRT cannon has the same effect, too. 

gagagalvatron - taymorinator-1.jpg

House Jentraides made several sports logos based on the nerdy sports team contest I ran a while back, none quite so awesome as this logo for the Hyrule Chicken Kickers:

House Jentraides - Hyrule Chicken Kickers.jpg

While Man Hin sent in another awesome pic (he was one of the last art contest’s winners), what disturbs me about it is not that He-Man is holding Devastator’s severed testicles, but the odd luck on He-Man face. I own every He-Man figure, and not of them have that face. It’s freaking me the fuck out.

Man Hin - BALLS.jpg

Ricky Namara made this group show of some of the more prevalent Topless Roboteers. I’d tell you who they all are, except that Ricky forgot to include me so my feelings are hurt and now I don’t give a shit.

Ricky Namara - GbErS.jpg

Two words: “Donkey Krang.” How this idea from Weak Orbit isn’t a nerd mash-up shirt already I’ll never know.

Weak Orbit - Whose Responsible This. Donkey Krang.jpg



Blue Delliquanti mesmerized me with this cartoony representation of a few FFF hits. It’s almost enough to make me say I want to see a Saturday Morning FFF-themed cartoon, until I realized what that would entail. I’ll settle for getting a How Wheel toy of Garfield’s lasagnamobile.

Blue Deliquanti -TR FFF.jpg

Lyndon A. turned in two, equally awesome Topless Robot Robots. This is the one that struck my personal sensibilities more, but both looked phenomenal. I have no doubt this lady could beat the crap out of the current TR mascot.

Lyndon A - Suppaimon.jpg


I knew the instant I saw it that Nicky P.‘s drawing would be a winner. It’s impressive enough that is manages to be safe-for-work despite its subject matter, but it’s also far more cute than gross or disgusting, and it’s still somehow funny and charming. The squid tentacles coming in through the window are the perfect touch. If I wasn’t positive this was done on computer, I’d be begging Nicky for the original to frame for the TR office.

Ham - hp_room_of_romance.jpg


Meanwhile, it’s the tagline on the top of Squarepupilsherald pic that turns it from art to masterpiece. If someone wants to cross-stitch me this pic, I will trade you a TR shirt for it. No foolin’.

Ben P - batman robocop.jpg

If there was one pic that just keep getting stuck in my mind, it’s this one from Kaffy. Honestly, if it probably
weren’t too sexy for TR readers at work, I’d consider trying to makeher  the new mascot.

Kaffy - toplessrobot.jpg

If you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me tweet a comic about Bill and Steve the Snakes, breakout stars of a recent Resdient Evil FFF, made by Hob Anagarak. If not, it’s below.

Hob Anagarak - billandsteve.jpg


While this cartoon was old, Hob drew up 6 more pages of comics, completing the story. It’s fantastic, seriously.
Hopefully you can download it as a pdf here, because it’s so totally worth it.

Now! Last and certainly not least! Our final winner is Falcione — yes, he who did the 8bit Toht gif — for an entry that makes me cackle in delight every time I consider it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…





Seriously. Download the two jpgs, print ’em, and paste them on cardboard. Then follow the intruction, and you too with have a little Topless Robot arcade game to aggravate your action figures with. I’m so excited! I’m going to get started on mine right away.

And that is finally that. Thanks to everyone who entered, and congrats to the winners. Thanks also to all of you non artsy people who have waited patiently for a TR contest where you can use your words. The next 12 months of contests are for you.