?Of course, by Bone I mean Jeff Smith’s beloved comic. Heat Vision reports that Patrick Smith, creator of the ABC Family series Greek (which Ms. Robot liked, for whatever that’s worth) will write the script, and P.J. Hogan of the 2003 Peter Pan movie that I totally forgot existed until I saw it mentioned in the article will direct.
I’m not going to hold my breath. Bone movies have been talked about for well over a decade at this point; directors come and go, scriptwriters write and… well, go. I think the comic, as wonderful as it is, is just too confusing for Hollywood executives. Sure, they know it’s a kid-friendly hit comic, and that should be enough to greenlit a movie based on it. Then there’s a heroine and monsters and fantasy and an epic battle of good and evil and I’m sure the execs start drooling. But then someone reminds them that the actual stars of the film, Fone, Phoney and Smiley, are humanoid white creatures of indeterminate origin that act like they’re fron ’40s comic strips, and suddenly all those Hollywood execs remember oh that’s why we haven’t made this movie yet.
Honestly, I don’t know that mass audiences are any more ready for Bone that Hollywood; if it ever did get made my money would be on it flopping, frankly. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a shit in someone’s breakfast cereal and then find a small child’s balloon to pop.