Comics, Miscellaneous

TR Contest: The Worst Scenes in the Watchmen Prequels

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?Oh, c’mon, you knew this was coming. With DC’s announcement they would soullessly cash in on one of the most popular and notably complete comic stories of all time release seven miniseries set before Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ classic Watchmen, I think most of us are a bit… concerned that they might not live up to the original. Certainly, they’ve got some greatest artists and writers on the books, but really, it’s like good bands doing a Beatles cover — they might be good, but the chances of them being as good as the originals is really fucking slim.

Of course, the more exciting possibility is that they’ll be fucking terrible, which would allow the entire nerdernet to point at DC imperiously and say “I TOLD YOU SO,” possibly while Alan Moore’s serpent god bites them in the genitals. So for this week’s contest, let’s give DC a hand by showing what to avoid, namely by creating the worst possible scenes we can imagine happening in Before Watchmen.

Now, please recall there’s one title for each of the six main Watchmen characters (Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, Silk Spectre, The Comedian, Nite Owl and Ozymandias) plus one for the Minutemen, the pre-Watchmen team. So try to stick to those, although that should give you plenty of leeway.

Three entries — i.e., “scenes” — per person. The contest will at 11:25pm EST on Sunday, February 5th, 35 minutes before midnight, because I think I’m so fucking clever, and because I want to see how many people totally miss this. Have a great weekend, folks. I’m told the weather looks like giant naked ladies, so you might want to carry around your umbrella.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.