Oh god. I knew Star Wars Kinect was going to be bad, but I didn’t know it was going to be THIS bad. I knew about the shitty podracing game, the shittier lightsaber “duels” and the borderline creepy Slave Leia dancing game — a game where her crotch shoots fireworks to tell you how well you’re doing — and I say this as a man who has leered and ogled many a Slave Leia in my time. If you don’t mind never knowing joy again, please watch the below video right through to the end:
When those two poor child actors go on to horrible drug addictions and careers in low-budget sheep pornography, we’ll be able to trace their problems directly to starring in this commercial. And I thought I felt bad for Jake Lloyd.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.