Oh, you kids with your World of Warcrafts and Minecrafts and what-not. When I was a wee lad — well, at least a pimply-faced teen — I spent all my hours making the world’s greatest metropolis in SimCity, so I’m very excited to know that Maxis is finally making a proper sequel in 2013. Kotaku says the new game will be full 3-D, the buildings will be fully customizable, and you can talk to individual Sims — but you don’t have to keep those Sims from pissing their pants while simultaneously setting themselves on fire, which is nice. Most importantly, there will apparently be curved roads. HOLY SHIT, PEOPLE. IT IS TRULY THE 21ST CENTURY.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.